People I want to punch in the face: Part 2
“There is only one sin, only one. And that is theft. Every other sin is a variation of theft…” – The Kite Runner
I find this idea from the book The Kite Runner to be an interesting concept – is every crime simply a variation of theft? I’m not sure if I can fully agree with that, but what I can agree with is that theft against a defenseless elderly person is the worst kind of theft you can commit. Sure, you might say my industry has biased me, but to me stealing from an elderly person is like taking candy from a baby, except the baby has impaired cognition, and the candy is actually money from Social Security.
As you may recall, I threw a New Year’s Eve party for my residents (albeit at 7pm) which was well attended and a lot of fun. A few days later, a resident we’ll call Tim approached a staff member and reported that his wallet was missing, and that the last time he could remember seeing it was on New Year’s Eve. This particular resident is quiet, soft-spoken, and takes quite a while to put sentences together, but is still mentally sharp. He has also (unlike other residents) not fallen into the typical Retirement Home pattern of not being able to find something, reporting it stolen, complaining to everyone, then finding it an hour later under a pillow or behind the bathroom door. And it’s not that we take any complaint of stolen items lightly (okay, with a certain few residents we take it with a very large grain of salt, I’ll admit), but when Tim spoke up, we were immediately concerned.
After asking a few questions of Tim, his daughter, and the staff on duty that night, we were able to roughly pinpoint when it went missing, which was likely January 1st. Shortly thereafter, we received a phone call from a stranger stating that he’d found a wallet and Tim's photo ID on the side of the road a few miles down from our community. His money, of course, was gone.
We continued our investigation of how his wallet had grown legs and walked down the highway, and soon discovered that reports of missing items were coming from other retirement communities in the area. A day or so later I was scrolling through Facebook and saw an article posted by The Oregonian about two suspects who were arrested and pending charges of theft from retirement communities. I have no way of knowing for sure if these are the people that stole Tim's wallet, but I guarantee you if I ever see them I will punch them in the face just in case. We have since tightened up the security at our community, including asking visitors rather forcefully to sign in and out of our building when we have been lax about it in the past, keeping up on our security camera footage, and talking to evening/night staff about paying closer attention to who is in the building after hours.
This isn’t financial abuse in the same way that the last story I told was because theft is different than coercing an elderly person into willingly giving up their money, but it is still abuse. Here are a few tips on helping to discourage freeloaders or thieves from taking advantage of your loved one:
- Be on the lookout for a new ‘best friend,’ or conversely, if your loved one suddenly becomes withdrawn or isolated.
- Watch for excessively large gifts to caregivers or new friends.
- Look for a sudden change in their personal schedule or spending patterns.
- Pay attention to anyone who suddenly becomes very interested in your loved one, especially if they have obvious cognitive impairment (dementia, etc).
- Look for notes or ‘mini-wills’ as I like to call them stating that upon your loved one's passing, they'd like to leave their estate or their funds to So-and-so after their death.
- If your loved one has an in-home caregiver who tells you consistently that they are too tired to come to the phone, or asleep, or watching TV and can’t talk, it might be time for an unexpected drop-by.
Please know that I am not encouraging you to suspect every Tom, Dick, and Harry of financial abuse just because they waved to your Grandmother after church one day. But financial abuse of seniors is rampant, and it won’t decline any time soon. If we all work at paying attention and being involved, perhaps we can help decrease the statistic. If you ever suspect financial abuse, you can reach out to Adult Protective Services or the National Center on Elder Abuse for more information and assistance.
