The question(s) always asked.
Toasting to 2017, our best year yet, at the NYE party I threw for our residents...at 7pm.
P.S. Do you like the creative ways I keep hiding my resident's eyes/faces? I'm keeping myself entertained.
When I respond to the question, ‘And what do you do for work?’ I can typically predict the response to my answer based on the questioner’s age. For example, most Millennials (young adults my age) will react with some sort of surprised but admirable disgust, like ‘Oh good for you, I would never want to work in that industry!’ They usually follow up with, 'Do you pick up poop and change diapers?' because they know nothing about how an ALF works, and plenty about horror stories from friends who have been caregivers. Seriously, the amount of times a Millennial has asked me that question is astounding. I don’t think many of my peers are seeking out jobs working in geriatrics, and because I work in geriatrics and hear that same question over and over, I understand why.
I get a completely different reaction from anyone who is around my parent’s age, and this is the response I'd actually like to discuss, because no, I don't change diapers (we have saints here that do). They often express appreciation for a young person working in long-term care, and then ask me very insightful questions, usually stemming from the fact that they’ve had first-hand experience with the process of finding long-term care for their parents.
I have been asked multiple times by older generations how to age well. Moving mom and dad into a care home usually isn’t an easy process, and often once it’s over the response is, ‘Wow, I’ll never make MY kids go through that.’ I hate to break it to you, but you probably will. We as a society fight aging in so many ways, and I don’t see that trend changing any time soon. My response has been consistently short – I suggest not fighting it. Don’t pretend you’re younger than you are, more independent than you are, healthier than you are. That stubborn streak could be your downfall, quite literally. The happiest residents I encounter aren’t those who are lamenting the loss of their car or house, but fully leaning into our activities, or taking advantage of the many outings offered to them. They’re making friends, decorating their apartments, and adjusting to the fact that life might look different now, but it’s far from over.
I thought it might be helpful if I listed some suggestions for preparing yourself for aging and for Assisted Living. It’s a huge life change, and anything that can be done in advance to make it easier for you and your loved ones will be beneficial.
Be prepared to…
Make tough decisions before you feel ready Yield control Make a move before you think you need to Spend a lot of money Invest in a new type of community Be your own advocate Be up front about taboo subjects (eg: how many bowel movements you’ve had in the past week) Rely on someone else Buy those dorky all-white Velcro ‘old person’ shoes you swore you’d never succumb to owning
And most of all, be prepared to NOT BE PREPARED.
Thanks to modern medicine, constant scientific research and consequent discoveries, advanced health care and so many other factors, we’re living longer lives, and that means the likelihood that you will be living in an ALF at some point in your life is pretty dang high. So prepare to not be prepared, and start realizing now that aging gracefully is an art that few get the chance to perfect.
